How Divorce Changes a Man | Moving on After Divorce | Life After Divorce for Men ” How to move on from a relationship takes a different view of the past 2 years as a single man. As a Divorce Coach, I’ve worked with hundreds of men who are at their end. This gives a viewpoint of what I would do if I could go back in time and tell myself about what to expect the next two years.

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If you could turn back time and speak to yourself during the beginning stages of the divorce, what would you tell yourself? What pitfalls did you hit, what were some major wins, what would you do different? I’m Rene, your divorce and recovery coach and It’s been 2 years since my separation so I thought it appropriate to speak about one of the most tumultuous times men undergo,,,, your separation. But this story isn’t about me but rather our story and it’s one of triumph so let’s start revving that engine.

I’m Rene, a men’s divorce and recovery coach. If I could hold that broken man that was me 2 years ago,,,, alone, in silence, confused and feeling worthless I’d look at him smile and say in no uncertain term that I’m going to go through my biggest renesance and that all this pain, expensive as it is, was all worth it. I was scared, I was really scared but although I bruised, I did scar and that in a matter of weeks not months, I was going to find myself again. That I wasn’t only going to land on my feet but that I dodged a bullet and thrived but it was going to take losing the social circle I gained during those 7 years I was with my ex.

Chapters:
0:00 Introduction
0:45 All this Pain was all Worth it
1:16 Loss Of Friends
1:59 I was arrogant
3:00 Perspective on Reality
4:19 Biggest Fear
5:00 Right Approach to Dating
5:27 First Year Single
6:12 I settled
6:30 Found Love
7:10 How About You
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Divorce can be extremely hard for both the people involved in the relationship. Life after divorce for women is a struggle full of hardships and challenging circumstances. It can make you feel lonely, depressed, economically vulnerable, and clueless about what the future holds for you.
As we all know marriage is a beautiful thing, where two people come together and vow to spend the rest of their lives loving and supporting each other. But sometimes, things don’t go according to our plans. Sometimes relationships get damaged beyond repair and the only way out is to part ways.
At first, it would feel like the hell just broke loose and your whole world has turned upside down. And rightly so. After making promises to be on each other’s side for life, spending quality time together, seeing your relationship falling apart can be devastating. But after every hardship, there is ease. This chaos doesn’t last forever. Eventually you learn to come out of it as a better and stronger person.
It cannot be generalized what is women’s life like after divorce. There are some women who move on quickly, find a partner and begin a new life. Others stay in mess, misery, and despair for long. Interestingly, life after divorce is not that complicated for women. It is true that there is chaos and a sea of emotions, but they are clear about their motive; to rebuild their lives in a better way and never look back.
If you are a woman who is going through this tough period, Bian Cey is here for you. Here are some ways that will help you move one to the next stage of your life. So, sit tight and don’t go anywhere.
1. Let your emotions flow
Divorce is just like the death of a marriage, so it’s understandable that you are full of emotions even if you were the one who wanted to part ways. Let yourself grieve and mourn. Let those tears take away all emotions from your system. Stay in bed for a few days eating ice cream if you want, but not for too long.
2. Get help from friends
After divorce, it is obvious that you are full of negative energy and you might try to do stupid and rash things like drunk dialing your ex-husband, posting brutal things on social media, leaking personal information or slashing his tires. Your close friends can help you control these kinds of urges.
3. Get professional help
Leaning on your friends for early help is always a good start when all you want is to be alone and stay in your bed all day. At some point, you need to develop some courage and start thinking about ways to start a new and better life. A spiritual advisor or therapist can guide you in this regard. It is hard to get motivated about life in this situation and a therapist can provide you the external support you need to ignite your inner light.
4. Rediscover yourself
A couple is referred to as one unit. When it splits, often the halves lose their own identity and start questioning who they really are.
You feel like you don’t exist anymore. You’ve always considered yourself a part of the couple, never an individual person.
Rediscovering yourself can be tricky. You need to start from the basics. List down things you like about yourself. Pen down your strengths and weaknesses, your unique characteristics and what you want to do in your life.
5. Start dating again
If one relationship didn’t have the perfect ending, it doesn’t mean your every relationship would end that way. In fact, dating is a great way to speed up your rehab process. Here the question arises “How do you know if its time to start dating again”. The answer is, “when it feels good, it’s time”.
Keep it light and try to have fun. Don’t start looking for a long-term relationship right away. As you are not in the best state of mind, there are chances you would make the wrong decision.
6. Manage your finances
You were used to managing your finances as a couple where probably both of you used to contribute. Now, you need to take the charge and get organized with your finances. You don’t want to be a person who ends up being broke after your divorce.
7. Celebrate yourself
Last but not the least, when you finally come out of an extremely hard time of divorce, give yourself a pat on the back. You’ve done a marvelous job, and this calls for a deserving celebration. Get in touch with old friends and throw yourself a party. Do things that were on your bucket list for ages, but you didn’t get the chance to do. Have a little vacation with your girlfriends, children or alone. When you are ready, prepare yourself to embark on a new journey, with new people, new adventures and new opportunities.

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